Dashed Hopes and Pop Psychology

“We’re going to whip up on the boys. . .” my daughter exclaimed as she bounced into the car this afternoon. “Excuse me?” I asked. “That’s what Miss ________ said when we were practicing!” was her reply. “Practicing?” I inquired. “Yes, for the math relay - boys against girls!”

And there it was. The one glimmer of hope from this already-too-long school year dashed. In the midst of our pleas to the school administration two weeks ago, we heard one small message that gave us hope. “Oh, Ms. ________ has assured us that she won’t be doing the math competitions between boys and girls. . .” It was the only point in the meeting where we felt the administration had “seen” the absurdity of it all and responded. It was the one small effort on this teacher’s part of recognizing our concerns even when she wouldn’t budge on anything else. All gone.

I spent the ride home fantasizing about a conversation I might have with the principal – all in the folksiness that seems to be required of school conferences, “Why Ms. Principal, I don’t know how you do things here in West Virginia, but in Georgia we’d call that insubordination – just say’n. . . . “ to which (it is my fantasy after all) the principal profusely apologizes and immediately writes the teacher up for the infraction. Yeah, right. . . . .

Instead, I sent an email to the teacher and c.c.ed the principal – letting her know that there was no need to set up a conference regarding the issues surrounding the report card – that if she could not follow through on a promise she made to her own administration we certainly had no hope that she would listen to us or do anything differently.

Later this evening as I was wandering through the grocery store I continued to wrestle with the absolutely wretched behavior of this woman. At some point in the middle of a near empty store, it hit me. Please forgive the pop psychology that follows. I suddenly realized that I had been trying to understand this woman from the perspective of a functional and rational human being. I assumed that her line of thinking would fall in line with mainstream teachers and, if so, she couldn’t help but see the negative implications of her actions.

But then I thought about it. There are a lot of damaged and dysfunctional people in the world. To some extent, we all carry about a lot of baggage and could probably count ourselves in a very large part of the population that is functionally damaged in some way. For most of us, we learn to cope with our issues and hopefully find ways to be in the world that won't exacerbate our weaknesses or increase their effects on others.

So, I began to think, “What if this IS the way this woman sees the world?” What if life is some big competition for her? What could have happened in this woman’s life that would make her so obsesses with seeing the world full of winners and losers? Did she grow up as a loser and prove herself otherwise? Did she always see herself as a “winner” and now wants everyone else to be defined accordingly? Was her family highly competitive and thus her worth was only recognized when it was accompanied by “best” or any number of adjectives as long as they ended in “-est”? If that is the case, then I imagine that she sees her interactions with Rick and me as a competition. She is out to “beat” us. When faced with a simple problem like promoting gendered competition in math and in spite of assuring her own administration that she would stop, she continues. Something is very, very wrong. Why else would she do this unless it is to “beat” us - to show us a thing or two?

Wow. What a frightening possibility. Rick and I are at a loss to respond at this point. If Audrey was older, we could have a developmentally appropriate conversation with her and hope that she would boycott this competition. That is too much to impose on a second grader at this point. For now, we just sit and wait – and hope that some administrative intervention prevails. Unlike my last blog entry, I’m not holding out much faith at this point. . . .

The Joy (and Peace) of Not Knowing

“Now faith is assurance of things hoped for, a conviction of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)

Tonight I’ve been thinking a lot about faith – any sort, mind you. Naturally, I tend to think about the nature of spiritual faith and how people seem to hang onto it. While it may be, as noted above, a conviction of things not seen, I do believe that for many believers, faith in a higher power is connected to something seen or experienced. It may be one’s awe in the incredible beauty found in nature. It may be the experience of holding one’s child for the first time. It may be because of some apparent divine intervention in one’s life. While we may hold onto faith in things unseen, I still believe there are connections to our lives and our experiences that influence and sustain that faith. After all, the Bible is full of stories of visions and events that help people restore and/or sustain their faith.

I’ve been thinking about this tonight because I’ve been trying very hard to count my blessings in the form of a first grade teacher. Now, more than ever, I realize how we cannot take good teachers for granted. Tonight was one of those nights where I NEEDED to think about all the good things that are happening in that first grade classroom. As I thought about it, I realized that much of what I “know” about Mrs. Wilson’s class is based upon “things not seen.”

For the most part, I do not know what goes on in Niamh’s classroom. I’ve seen the schedule. On parent night I got to see the cool morning work they do on the Smartboard, and I know the basic topics/objectives of the week because her teacher sends them to us. And the beautiful part of this is that I do not need to know. It isn’t important for me to have a play-by-play of the events as they unfold in that first grade classroom.

I don’t need to know that because of what I DO know:

• · I know my child runs to the car in the afternoon with a huge smile on her face. This tells me she’s spent the day in a warm and caring environment.
• · I know my child loves to read. She hasn’t missed a beat from the gains she made last year. More importantly, she WANTS to read. She loves showing us how much she has learned and how she is able to read “harder” books now.
• · I know my child is learning math. I don’t know this because of a mountain of worksheets. In fact, I’ve seen very few. Nothing could thrill me more. The fewer worksheets I see, the more I know she is actually LEARNING. Again, more importantly, she WANTS to do math. She asks to do math games and practice flashcards at home even though they’re not assigned homework. She doesn’t want to do it to “beat” someone else or because she is afraid she isn’t doing well on assessments in class. She thinks it’s FUN.
• · I know that in spite of all the pressures to teach only math and reading my child is learning a lot about science and social studies. Several times each night she gets a big grin on her face and says, “You know what????” and she follows it with a series of facts that she has learned.
• · I know that my child has the opportunity to think during the day. I hear her describe connections that she could only make if there is time that isn’t stuffed with competitions and other “noise.” Knowing how critical those connections are for Niamh’s overall understanding, I am thrilled that she has those moments to make connections. I see the ways in which simple experiences encourage those connections: a book she made about bridges – how wonderful! Her mind raced as she discussed each page with me; a simple sheet where she was asked to write down the years she found on pennies. This is such a simple exercise that led Niamh on all kinds of mental adventures.

I have faith in the kinds of experiences Mrs. Wilson is providing for my child. I appreciate the fact that I do not “see” what is going on. I think it means that Mrs. Wilson is there for the kids. She is focused on the right things. She is a tremendous steward of the discretionary space the school and district have given her.

While it’s a faith in the unseen, it’s not a blind faith. As E. O. Wilson warns,

“Blind faith, no matter how passionately expressed, will not suffice. Science for its part will test relentlessly every assumption about the human condition.”

I know enough about good teaching to have faith in the unseen. I SEE a great deal in the midst of that not known, and because of that, I KNOW, and, I am thankful.

Facing the Circled Wagons: A Challenge for School Administrators

When I got home from class last night I saw a fairly large envelope we’d received in the mail. The return address had Audrey’s teacher’s name. It was a sympathy card and a small book about grief. She noted that it had helped her when she had suffered loss. She’d also sent Audrey a card where everyone in the class had signed and included a note. Seeing the cards and the book certainly gave me a moment of pause. It was a reminder that this person was not a villain and that it is very easy to villainize people when we are angry.

Nevertheless, good people make mistakes, and those mistakes need to be corrected. I started thinking about a situation I experienced as a middle school administrator. A group of girls were caught drinking vodka and orange juice in music class. This was a group of girls that never got in trouble. The principal took the lead on the situation since the other assistant principal and I were each in the middle of handling fights (It was one of those days.). When I walked by her office and saw the look on her face, I knew this would be no ordinary discipline referral. One of the girls was the granddaughter of the former principal. This was not good. Ultimately, the other girls and their parents took responsibility, accepted the ten-day suspension, and they indicated that they would seek help for their daughters during that time. The daughter’s family of the former principal, however, refused to accept the punishment and insisted on a hearing.

The discipline hearing was a circus. The former principal decided that she would be the defending counsel. She subpoenaed a number of teachers from the school to come and testify – none of whom were witnesses to the incident. The teachers were at a loss as to why they were subpoenaed. As the hearing progressed, each was called in. The former principals asked, “Is ___________ a good girl?” to which the teacher would answer yes and then confirm various “good” attributes the student possessed. The principal and I responded, “Do good girls make mistakes?” to which each teacher answered yes. We then asked, “And should mistakes have consequences?” to which they also answered yes. We finally asked, “And should consequences be consistent?” Again, they answered yes. Given that the panel was hearing this message over and over again, the daughter’s grandmother soon gave up and did not call all the teachers in to testify.

I must admit, this was a brilliant plan on the grandmother’s part. She knows human nature – especially as it plays out in schools. As it is with Marley’s ghost, so it is with educators: We’re in the reclamation business. As such, being “good” is important. It is so important that it often leads to the assumption that you should never do “bad” things to good people. I think this is one of the biggest challenges for school administrators when it comes to working with teachers. Teachers are good people. They sacrifice and work long hours for little pay. They are abused by the media as well as by many students and parents. They come to school sick, hurting, exhausted, and they are expected to smile and make the learning environment as positive as possible in spite of what may be going on in their own lives. All of this is true. So how can an administrator admonish a teacher – particularly if the potential fall-out of their actions is not obvious or immediate?

I have witnessed this personally. As an administrator in another school we had a situation in which a teacher was struggling with so many personal issues that she had not been able to function at even a minimal level in her classroom. We began to see the full extent of her problems halfway through the first grading period. It was so obvious that other teachers were telling us that they were concerned. In spite of our interventions, it became clear to us that her students had lost nearly a semester of “learning” as a result of this teacher. We pulled her out of the classroom mid-year, gave her something to do the rest of the year that would have as little impact on children as possible, and by the end of the year explained she’d have an assignment the following year that we knew she could not and would not take. She had to quit. Ironically, those teachers who saw the damage she was doing to her kids were the same teachers who attacked us for being so cruel and pushing her out. It is human nature. She was a good person. She just happened to be a good person who was hurting children. Yes, good people make mistakes. Yes, mistakes should have consequences, and yes, those consequences should be consistent.

If teachers are so quick to circle the wagons, even in an extreme case like we faced, then how will they respond if they feel one of their own is under attack? What makes this even more challenging for a school administrator is when the issues that need to be resolved have consequences that are more ambiguous. Whose to say that excessive competition will have long-term effects? As the administrator who observed the class noted, “How do you know whether the kids know who is on what level? I couldn’t tell.” So what if a quarter science grade is only based on one paper and it’s not about science. What’s the real harm in that? I think this is why the counselor was so quick to note that she saw no obvious signs of anxiety or negative feelings about math. If you don’t see something immediate and explicitly connected to the work of the teacher (a bruise, a melt-down, etc.) then no harm-no foul. I also think this is why judging teachers simply by test scores is so seductive to so many – it is far easier and removes administrative culpability: the numbers don’t “lie.”

The crossroads of teaching reform come together in dangerous ways here – much like many of the “crossroads” here in Morgantown where the curves prevent you from seeing the risk. First, it’s very easy to villainize, so some administrators (and parents) are quick to resort to this. In these cases, the administrators and/or parents become the villains and no good can come of it. Second, it’s human nature to excuse bad choices when the person making them is a “good person.” For many administrators, there is just too much potential fall-out to deal with issues, so they ignore them and hope that nothing blows up on their watch.

But, good people make bad choices. Bad choices hurt children. You may not see a literal bruise, but you know that it will affect how they see themselves for years to come. Therefore, bad choices need to have consequences. I still support the “reclamation business” of schools. I still believe that if administrators appeal to teachers’ core commitments to children and help them SEE what their choices are doing to those children that things can get better. However, I also believe that when and if a teacher sees what her actions are doing to children and chooses to not change, then the administrator has to take action. There are times as an administrator when you must deal with the circled wagons for the sake of the children.

The "WTH" of Assessment: Lord, Give me Strength. . .

So, report cards came out today. Thank goodness Rick was the first to retrieve it so Audrey didn’t see me explode. As noted in previous blogs, we have the unfortunate circumstance that our child is subjected to a teacher that uses assessment instead of actually teaching – something I brought to the attention of the school administration and about which nothing has been done.

So, what’s the harm in assigning grades to stupid worksheets that don’t align with clear objectives, aren’t the products of actual instruction, and seem to make little or no sense? Well, the power of a number is that it implies certainty – something the clueless and cowardly in life cling to. It empowers the cowardly to make unwarranted claims about those under their supervision. It further disenfranchises those parents who feel they can do nothing in the face of the all-powerful teacher. The fact that she talks down to them all only reinforces their fears. So, there is power in numbers, and the unscrupulous teacher will use that power over students, parents, and whoever else may get in her way. Who cares if those numbers mean absolutely nothing?

Yes, I’m ranting. I’m angry. I’m angrier than I have ever been about a teacher – and believe me, I’ve been angry about teachers. As an administrator, it was my “job” to help struggling teachers, but it was also my job to career counsel some the hell out of the school if they were hurting kids. I believe it’s my moral obligation to be angry. As Freire reminds us, we have the obligation to be angry because of our capacity to love. If we love kids, then we MUST be angry when we see teachers hurting them.

Now, Audrey is not “hurt” by the report card. Not this time. And if we are forced to endure this woman for the year, she will never see a report card – at least as long as they continue to say absolutely nothing about what she does and does not know about second grade skills and competencies. My child will NEVER define herself by what this woman puts down and calls grades. But, I think about the other children in the class – those whose parents don’t realize how meaningless these grades are. How many children tonight are getting scolded or spanked because of these grades? How many children feel less about themselves because they’ve seen the grades and their parents have “explained” that it means they’re dumb?

Let me interrupt this rant to give you a bit of context. After all, how are you to know the extent to which I’m justified in my rant without the full back story? Audrey got a D, yes a D in “CATS” which we can only assume involves science and social studies – subjects the principal herself admitted aren’t taught because of NCLB. What was the basis for this grade? ONE worksheet on bus safety that had bizarre and confusing pictures with a cut and paste activity. Audrey brought it home – having missed 2/6 – upset because the pictures were so confusing. She shared with us how the images could mean more than one thing that that she was confused. I will now pause for this to soak in. A school does not teach science or social studies. Nevertheless, they have a “box” in which a grade must be placed. A teacher shows a film, passes out ONE worksheet, grades it, and then lets that one worksheet count for the entire quarter’s science and social studies grade – bus safety, mind you – hardly science OR social studies.

Moving on. . . . Audrey got a B in spelling. We’re not parents that insist on As because our child is brilliant. Please keep that in mind. We reviewed the grades on-line (which, by the way, privileges those parents who have access to Internet at home in a community with 50-60% poverty, but I digress), and discovered that her 85% was the result of three things: getting a 70% on her first spelling test because she forgot her punctuation on her dictation sentences (which, by the way, were never taught or practiced before the test and have absolutely nothing to do with spelling), a worksheet where she got a 70% because she used words from the larger spelling list instead of those relegated to a particular word box, and (the clincher) a 40% on a paper where she answered each fill-in-the-blank correctly, spelled each word correctly, but on the word box she underlined the words vs. circling them, and after all, the directions said to circle them before putting them in the sentences. She didn’t even put the grade on the paper because she knew we would scream – instead she tried to hide it in the grades on the computer and then averages it in with the rest.

So yes, I’m angry. I’m angry not only for my child but also for the 24 other children who must endure this “award winning” teacher. I’m angry about the parents who feel helpless tonight. I am angry about how this teacher will talk down to them Thursday night when she meets with them in parent conferences (by the way, we declined our conference) – the same way she talked to them on Parent Night. I am angry that the administration will not touch this 37-year veteran even though we are bringing up case after case of inhumane treatment of children. I am most angry about how other children in this class will begin to see themselves as a result of the utterly unprofessional and immoral acts of this woman.

Deep breaths. I know in some objective realm of “me” that this will pass and in one way or another Audrey will ultimately be “o.k.” It will take a LOT of work and perhaps a LOT of reinforcement to assure her that she is not the sum of her horrid second grade experience. I can’t help to think, though, that some of those 24 kids will not be o.k. This will be the beginning of a downward spiral regarding how they see themselves and how their parents see them. That’s what keeps me up at night.

Yeah. . . I don't think this is what Dewey had in mind. . .

We left our conference with School #2 administration with some degree of hope for our future in the community. It was a productive conversation. They listened. We listened. We hope and pray that we didn’t come off as a professorial stealth bomb that has hit their building. I tried to listen with my administrative ears recognizing that they could not and would not say anything negative about the teacher. I believe they listened with their parental ears and acknowledged that we are primarily advocates for our children regardless of our day jobs.

Initially there were moments of frustration. They were quick to note that many parents want this teacher and that if they honored requests, she’d have many. They told us she won a Sam’s Club teaching award for the county or state – either way, it certainly speaks volumes for those sorts of awards, doesn’t it? The counselor assured us that she’s seen no negative effects of this teacher’s approach when she works with children in summer school, and the principal added that she has not heard any third grade teachers express concerns regarding the children’s attitudes toward math.

Yeah, but here’s the thing. . . life isn’t so simple as to produce immediate and clearly identifiable consequences from bad teaching. Children are not going to self-diagnosed themselves as having math anxiety when they are in third grade. Shifts in how one perceives oneself – however subtle – may take years to manifest themselves. Certainly, children are resilient. After all, most if not all of us endured at least one year of a “mean” or otherwise ineffective teacher, and we survived. It’s part of life, right? Simply because children have tremendous capacity to recover from bad experiences does not justify imposing bad experiences on them in schools.

As for our concerns regarding constant competition and extrinsic rewards for learning, the principal lamented that life is competitive. “Perhaps,” I responded, “But does that mean second grade must be?” You see, I don’t think Dewey had this sort of image in mind when he described schools as embryonic communities. I don’t think he was advocating that we take all that is wrong with society and impose it on children in the early years to toughen them up.

I imagine a proposal now: “The Mountaineer Curriculum: Teaching Kids to Suck it Up, Toughen Up, and Win!” And perhaps the parents sporting the university colors everywhere possible (attire, signs on cars, yard signs, flags, etc.) might be in favor of such a curriculum. After all, this teacher supposedly gets numerous requests. If schools honor the community and create experiences that reflect children’s experiences, then perhaps such a curriculum would be appropriate. If that’s the case, then perhaps schooling should be one long tailgate party for learning, right?

But wait, we’re forgetting a few things. Those experiences that Dewey considered the center of gravity around which everything evolves actually need to be educative. They need to lead to growth: growth of the child and potential growth of the community. Now I know I could really get myself in trouble if I start quoting Dewey’s notion of what the best and wisest parent wants for his children is what the schools should want for all children and then present Rick and I as those “best and wisest.” So, how do I get out of this ideological corner I seem to have painted for myself?

I guess I could try to distract you with the fact that these issues are more prominent now because there is no normative conversation regarding schooling these days. We never talk about the purpose of schooling – merely assume that it’s to score well on tests to get in good colleges to get good jobs. As long as we don’t have a basis from which we can engage in meaningful conversations about schooling, then we all just compete to be the “best and wisest” - pushing our agendas like its some giant reality show and hoping we don’t get voted off. In this reality-world curriculum, parents and teachers are adversaries, concerns are dismissed, and there is no hope for progress within the school community.

I think it would be incredibly difficult to introduce the notion of purpose in most public schools today. It would be so far removed from the natural form of educational discourse (but if you look back at articles in the 1970s and early 1980s, you would see such conversations). Perhaps we could begin with baby steps. One question I asked multiple times during the conference today would be one place to start: “But at what cost?“ The principal noted, “We were one of only three schools to make AYP. . .” My response, “Yes, but at what cost?” The principal indicated, “Teachers in upper grades have noted that children don’t know their math facts, so we are focusing on more drill. . . . “ My response, “Yes, but at what cost do you drill daily and in a way that promotes competition?”

This is a difficult question for teachers or administrators – but it is one that they need to ask daily. At what cost do we do what we do? Every initiative comes at the expense of another. For example, the NCLB focus on math and reading has all but killed early experiences in science and social studies. There are far, far too many opportunity costs in schools today that go unacknowledged. While we may not be able to engage in larger debates about purpose during these dark times in public schools, we can ask educators to consider what is being lost in the process. And with that discussion in mind, we can do more than mourn the loss. We can demand otherwise and try to reclaim those things that “the best and wisest parent” knows are vital for a life well lived and for a society worth living in.

Giving Thanks

In part to try to diffuse the “Mama Bear” that has been engaged over the past couple of weeks and in part because it is long overdue, I want to take time to say thank you to the teachers that have touched our lives over the years. It only takes one bad experience to remind us how fortunate we are every time we get to partner with outstanding teachers. Rick and I have been incredibly blessed over the years with such teachers, and it’s high time we acknowledged their greatness.

Before I begin I’d like to offer one observation. I know that people are likely to assume professors of education will be overly harsh in their assessments of their children’s teachers. I’m sure I’ve done more than my share to reinforce this image in my past two blog posts. True, teacher educators and professors of other facets of education “know more” and can criticize more explicitly when it comes to work in schools. But frankly, that’s just half of the story. Yes, we know more, so we also know more deeply why great teachers are so great. We, more than the average parent, know the challenges schools face, so we know when they are overcoming countless obstacles to be great. Further, while we may advocate for specific forms of curriculum and pedagogy, we also support teaching as a profession, and thus will be the first in line to advocate for teacher autonomy. Therefore, as a professor of education with 23 years of experience in schools, I am truly humbled by the level of greatness my children have encountered over the years.

Thank you Mrs. Wilson. You have made the first three weeks of first grade welcoming and engaging for Niamh. She walks out of the building every day with a smile on her face. She bubbles over talking about the things going on in class. She has become the family expert on Hawaii, and she reads with confidence and enthusiasm. She looks forward to school every day. She feels loved and supported while she is there.

Thank you, Jamie Lester, and your family. You are an amazing soccer coach for our girls. In a mere three weeks you have taken two shy and pensive girls and taught them how to engage with others in the game. You’ve built their confidence and taught them skills that will help them in the future (whether they choose to stay in soccer or not). Your wife and daughter have joined in to encourage and support them. You’ve also taught Niamh that it isn’t about winning – a lesson Rick and I have tried to teach for years. You’ve done far more than just say “good job,” in general and easy ways. You’ve seen what they do well and how they’ve improved, and you’ve shared your observations with them so that they know how authentic your praise is.

Thank you, Carrie Skirvin. You made Niamh’s kindergarten experience absolutely amazing. The other day the girls were “picking” an age where they’d like to stay forever. Niamh said she wanted to stay five forever so she could stay with you in Super K. What I appreciate most of all was how much you enjoyed the children – laughing with them and making the classroom such a positive experience. I know you had an incredible span of abilities in that class – but the kids didn’t know that. In spite of the challenges of huge differences and the increased pressures to teach so much in kindergarten, you managed to do so lovingly and in a way that kept the kids excited about learning. Niamh has memories from Super K that will last a lifetime. We can never thank you enough.

Thank you, Patty Grever. You taught Audrey so much. You too had an incredible span of abilities in your class – and many needs among the students. You created a warm and supportive environment in the classroom where kids blossomed. You created a classroom climate where students supported one another and celebrated in one another’s achievements. You supported Audrey’s love of reading and learning and encouraged her in so many ways. You also made your classroom a welcoming place for parents. I don’t know how you managed your day when so many parents came in to speak with you, but you did – and what a difference that must have made. You clearly and daily demonstrated that education is a partnership between home and school.

Thank you, Mrs. Simpkins. As the principal of Grandview Elementary School you created a warm and supportive environment for children and their families. You greeted children and parents nearly every day – standing outside or at the front door. Whenever children wrote to you, you immediately wrote back and mailed the letters to their homes. You made sure there were no distinctions between the children who had resources at home and those who did not. You worked diligently to ensure the school had the resources it needed to help children and their families. You also made sure parents were around – lots of them – to help the children. I’ve never seen a school with such an active parent group. You wanted parents there to see the great things happening in the school – and for good reason. I wish all principals could see what you and the teachers have done for children and their families at Grandview.

Thank you, Mrs. Curtice. You taught Audrey so much in kindergarten. It was such a critical time in her life as an early reader, and you supported her growth in reading in consistent and meaningful ways. Even though it was a half-day program, you managed to provide outstanding instruction in reading, math, science, and social studies. You communicated with us regularly and welcomed parents to be involved. Thank you for supporting Audrey’s kindergarten year as a partnership between home and school.

Thank you, Miss Amy. We were doubly blessed that both our girls got to learn from you in pre-K. There’s so much that we appreciate from your class, that it’s hard to narrow it down to a paragraph. You got Niamh to cross the threshold on that first day (and many figurative thresholds thereafter). You helped her to become more independent while maintaining loving support. You sparked their love of science – something we hope that they don’t lose in the NCLB era of what isn’t tested isn’t taught. You helped them both learn what it means to learn with others. You also KNEW our children. You knew what their academic and social needs were – and you responded to those needs even when they may be very different from the needs of others in your class.

Thank you Mr. Matt. We are so thankful that both of our girls had your as their afternoon Pre-K teacher. When so many might blow off afternoons as times to just have fun, you taught them – often in subtle (dare I say sneaky?) ways so they didn’t realize they were learning. You also “saw” them – you knew the ins and outs of their learning and their socializing and supported them in both.

Thank you Miss Aida. What can I say about the two years we got to have you as a teacher? I say “we” because you were there for all of us. Some of my fondest memories of the girls’ experiences at “Horsey School” are the mornings when I sat at that table with you and helped the kids with their morning art. You made your classroom warm, welcoming, and comfortable for all of us. And the art – oh how our girls loved the art in your class! It’s hard to look over those books you put together and all the pictures from your room without getting teary.

Thank you Miss Irena. You were the first introduction to “school” that Audrey had, and I think it’s because of the amazing experiences in your class that she decided she wanted to become a teacher. I was always amazed at how much you were able to “teach” two-year-olds and how much you helped them grow and develop. I also appreciate how you were willing to ask hard questions. If you read into my body language that something was wrong, you didn’t hesitate to ask, “Is everything o.k.?” You helped me learn how to be a parent instead of a teacher. I am forever grateful for that.

Thank you Miss Jennifer. You were an amazing teacher both in and outside of school. You didn’t stop teaching after 6:00. You were just as willing to teach or redirect the girls when were in the middle of a play date, wandering through the Botanical Gardens, or eating out somewhere. We were so incredibly fortunate to have you there to watch our girls when we went away for conferences. I am honored to be your friend and partner in the girls’ education.

Thank you, Miss Sadika. You watched over my precious baby when she wasn’t even two years old. It was so hard to leave her there in those early days, but your warm smile assured me that everything would be o.k. – and it was more than o.k. You taught her as well. We can never thank you enough.

I know many others have had a hand in teaching Audrey and Niamh. I am thankful for music teachers, teachers’ aids, directors, and others who’ve touched their lives. I cannot go back and thank each of you as often as I should have over the years. I can only work to make sure I never take great teaching for granted again.

Thank you.

I promise I am a Much Better Advocate than Adversary: A Follow-up Note to My Daughter’s Teacher

Having just completed our conference, I want to make sure I completely understand your position on the concerns we raised.

Regarding the excessive competition in your room, you were, at best, dismissive. You did not deny that you have games with the children. You did not respond to our concerns that you often have boys compete against girls. You in no way indicated that you will change this practice. We made it very clear when expressing our concerns that setting up a classroom environment with such a competitive spirit – and in particular making that competition gender-based – can have long-lasting effects on how children perceive themselves as learners. Based upon your body language, it appears you are dismissing our concerns as overly academic.

When I expressed my concerns about your daily timed math, you had a solution: don’t come in anymore and don’t help me. That way, they won’t do it daily. When I expressed my concern regarding the explicit levels on the tests and how everyone in the class knows where everyone is in terms of performance, you were once again dismissive. I hope I made myself clear that if you actually put the children’s names on your rocket on the bulletin board – announcing to all those who pass by who is or is not performing in your class - that I will respond quickly and with utmost determination. I suggest you look up FERPA policies before you put that first named tack in place. It will save you and the school a significant amount of grief.

You made sure we knew that there were 25 children in each class – that moving Audrey was, unfortunately, not an option. We had not brought up this possibility. By the very fact that you brought it up, you let us know that you have no intentions of changing and that we are stuck with you. We will see what those above you have to say about that.

You tried to redirect our concerns to talk of developmental levels of second graders. I stopped you because I taught second grade for a number of years – and third, forth, seventh, and was an elementary and middle school administrator. You know that. Don’t try to derail serious conversations in a twenty-five minute conference. You then tried to imply that Audrey has merely found some way to get attention – that she knows this bothers us so she is using it. That shows how very little you know about our daughter and how little you’ve actually listened to us during this conference.

Given the short time we had and given your attempts to redirect the conversation from the actual issues, we didn’t not have much time to talk about your grading. Trust me, we will return to this issue with your administration. It is very clear that the items coming home with grades are not the products of instruction. This is not assessment OF instruction. They are not, in any way, informing you to differentiate in your classroom. Thus, they are not assessment FOR instruction. Rather, they are assessment IN PLACE OF instruction. While you may be able to force your way into creating a culture of competition in your classroom without much possibility of consequences from administration, you cannot get away with this. If I accomplish nothing else this year, I will make it my mission to ensure that you actually teach and that the grades on papers are actually and only the results of having taught.

In other words, you have forced me into the role of adversary. I resent this. Education should be a partnership. The focus should be on what is good and right FOR children – not for your ego or for your 37-year routine. I’ve not had to take on this role before. I can tell you that I truly believe I make a much, much better advocate than adversary. Instead of seeing Rick and I as resources, you see us as threats. Oddly enough, the highly competent teachers we’ve worked with up to this point have always seen us and used us as resources. As such, we’ve done everything we can to support what they do in the classroom. We haven’t changed. We still see the world the same way we did when our children were in preschool and in their previous school. So, the one factor that has shifted our roles is you.

So, it is quite possible that the next 155 days of school will be torture for the three of us. As I told you at the end of the conference, we want to be advocates. We want to support what is going on in school. However, we will not stay silent when we see things that are wrong. We will continue to challenge. We now must get others involved. I resent that your principal may also perceive us as adversaries because of the conditions you have put in place in your classroom. As we move ahead and attempt to deal with these issues, I want to make one thing absolutely and perfectly clear. These issues are between us. While they affect our daughter, she is not part of this conflict. Any indication otherwise would escalate this matter far beyond anything any of us would want to encounter.

When I was a middle school teacher I worked in a very urban area. I taught rival gang members in the same class and had to break up many conflicts – physical and otherwise. I learned very quickly that you do not put someone up against a wall, literally or figuratively, or you ensure that that person will come out swinging. You always have to provide a road to redemption. Otherwise, no progress can be made. We will do our best to maintain that road to redemption for you. You can make this year better, and we can return to the role of advocates – but it will take a lot of change on your part. We are willing to accept a wide range of teaching practices that we don’t’ like. That’s our compromise. However, we cannot and will not accept that issues we’ve brought forth in the conference and in this follow-up letter. In other words, these are deal breakers.

So, while you off-handedly mentioned that you would think about our concerns, we expect more than that. We expect to see change - real change - based upon what we have identified as very real issues in your classroom. These are not just parental whims. We have a long line of research backing up our position as well as the everyday practices of highly talented teachers everywhere. If we have to pull out the NCLB mandate that your practices must be research based, then we'll do so. If we have to pull out federal guidelines about the right to privacy for student performance, we'll do that as well. Frankly, I'd much rather spend my time helping a small math or reading group in your class or cutting out manipulatives for more engaged instruction. Your call.

Questions for my daughter's teacher

In preparation for our first (of what I assume will be many) conferences this year, I wanted to put on paper the questions I’ve wrestled with over the first two weeks of school.

1. Why do so many papers come home each week with percentages marked on them? We have just completed the second week of school. I was always under the impression that grades were assigned only after things have been taught and practiced to determine the degree to which the students had mastered the objectives covered. If that’s the case, then I would imagine, at a minimum, twenty minutes of instruction (and I am being generous here) have been provided per actual grade received. With that in mind, my child would have been in school at least 8.5 hours a day doing nothing but direct instruction – not including the time it has taken her to complete the pile of papers she has returned home. When those are factored in (as well as lunch, playtime and specials), I’d say she would need to be in class a minimum of 10 hours a day. Since that’s not the case, something isn’t measuring up with so much measuring.

2. Why is everything – and I do mean EVERYTHING – a competition? My child knows who is “ahead” of her in math. She also knows boys typically beat girls in math and that one student on her “team” can prevent her from earning smiley faces because he doesn’t put his things away quickly enough. She knows that the behavior of that one person then denies her the spoils of winning (e.g. a snack that the winners get to eat in front of the losers). In two weeks she has “learned” that learning isn’t important for its own sake – it’s important to beat others so that she can go to the prize box and get some old McDonald’s kid’s meal prize as a reward.

3. Why does so much measurement seem to have no relationship to instruction (if said instruction exists in the first place)? When my child misses the same problem on multiple worksheets and we ask her if you reviewed them, she says no. When I go in and record the performances of kids on their timed math (which, by the way is a FERPA violation, but that is for yet another blog post) and one child is still working on the same worksheet day after day, it would seem to me that the poor child needs instruction – not more of the same worksheet.

4. Do you honestly think that loving the kids is enough? I’ve come across a large number of ineffective teachers who, while they loved kids, had no idea how much damage they were causing by virtue of the way they were “teaching” those kids. At this point the only things I can be pretty sure about this year are that my daughter will learn very little. She will probably hate math by the end of the year, and she will expect to be rewarded for everything she does. Frankly, I’d prefer a teacher who merely tolerated kids but who knew how to teach.

5. Do you think doing something for 37 years automatically makes you an expert? Doing something year after year does not necessarily make it effective. There are lots of traditions in the world that have lasted longer than that but that have had devastating effects on communities. For example, child labor, lynching, and slavery all have a long history in this country. That doesn’t make them good practices. Longevity does not make something good – it just makes the number of people affected by it far too large. There are now probably generations of people in this community who hate math and who lost some if not all their love of learning while under your supervision.

Perhaps these questions seem harsh and unfair. The thing is that we’ve entrusted our child to you. She must be with you for seven hours each day. Rick and I are prepared to re-teach lessons that do not go well. If it were merely a matter of ineffective teaching, then we could compensate. But how do we compensate for the lessons you are teaching: you are defined by a series of numbers known as percentages; you are better than some and worse than others and the object of the game is to make sure the “worse than” number is greater than the “better than” number; the quality of life and the rewards you will receive will be based upon the choices of others – good or bad; because you are a girl you will not answer math questions fast enough, therefore you should always remember that boys are better at math than girls. . . . . ?

With six degrees in education and more than 55 years of teaching experience between us, Rick and I cannot correct the potential damage you could create with these lessons. So, with these concerns in mind, what do we do next????????????